I've cried plenty of tears today for every person in Maine, I'm sure! I keep thinking about the "what if's". I keep asking Eric what are we going to do if at our next OB appointment there is no heartbeat? What if something is "wrong" with our unborn baby? What if...? What if...? What if...? Of course, being the laid back guy that he is, he always tells me that everything is and will be OK, and that no matter what we will get through anything that may lay before us. Well, I know that, but it doesn't change my fears.
Today though, I have just not felt "right" about things. Maybe I am just being more paranoid than usual. I think partly because of the lack of symptoms, partly because I know what a miscarriage is like and I don't ever want to lose another child-- during pregnancy or during their life.
Someone on my birth board then posted a link to a heartbreaking, yet inspiring story that has had me in tears for near an hour. So, instead of you reading more of my random boring life, go read this amazing story! (But be prepared to cry!)
http://spiritmag.com/features/article/holding_onto_hope/
Friday, September 2, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
Irene
Hurricane Irene is making its way north along the east coast. It can hit Maine anytime between Sunday and Monday from what I understand. At first we weren't worried-- and while we still aren't really, we are preparing. The forecast says that our area will see high, damaging winds, power outages, 10+ inches of rain, flash floods and more. We are pretty far inland so for us this is big. We don't get hurricanes in Maine!
So, while we have most of the supplies we need, we do need to get some stuff done around here today before Eric goes to work. We need to put all the outdoor stuff in the garage, do all the laundry and dishes, and make sure we have an emergency bag in case we need to leave the house for some reason.
Anyway, I've been horrible at this blogging! I am going to try to do the series on my pregnancy and birth of Ephraim this weekend, if the power doesn't go out!
So, while we have most of the supplies we need, we do need to get some stuff done around here today before Eric goes to work. We need to put all the outdoor stuff in the garage, do all the laundry and dishes, and make sure we have an emergency bag in case we need to leave the house for some reason.
Anyway, I've been horrible at this blogging! I am going to try to do the series on my pregnancy and birth of Ephraim this weekend, if the power doesn't go out!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Ultrasound results
**Warning: information regarding my cycles and "intimate life" are included in this post. If this bothers you, please do not read any further!**
Alright, as I mentioned before, we had our ultrasound on Monday the 15th for dating purposes. We saw the baby looking like a little gummy bear! The doctor didn't say what the heart rate was, but said it looked good. According to the ultrasound the baby measured at 9 weeks and 1 day. According to my last period, baby should have been 10 weeks and 5 days. Well, I knew the baby wouldn't measure at 10w5d, as I usually ovulate around day 21 of my cycle, and not day 14 like the "typical" woman. (Though, really, what is "typical"? I don't even know that many women whose cycles are exactly 28 days long. But anyway....)
Because I ovulate 7 days later than the typical woman, my due date would still be the same as the due date for LMP (last menstrual period), as my OB's don't change your due date unless the baby measures more than 7 days different. This held true for Ephraim (don't know about Bretton). But apparently not so for this one. Which really concerns me and has me quite baffled.
If you can follow, here's why: As I stated I ovulate around day 21. I know this for a fact as I chart using BBT (basal body temperature) and OPK's (ovulation predictor kits). By charting and OPK's I ovulated day 21, right where I usually do. I also know that we only had intercourse on the 18th. Intercourse 3 days before ovulation can result in pregnancy. Intercourse 7-8 days before ovulation does not result in pregnancy (according to the "rule" that sperm only survive up to 6 days). The baby's measurements put ovulation on the 25th. Because this is 11 days later than the "typical" ovulation, the due date was moved 11 days backward. Well, whatever, the baby is going to come when it comes no matter what the due date is. But, thinking about all of this makes me wonder if the baby is growing too slowly. Or, despite the doctor doing the measurements twice and getting the same answer, maybe it was wrong. Here's the biggest kicker to me: the doctor said that ultrasounds can be off by up to a week. If that is the case, and I know with 99.99% certainty when I ovulated, why not give me a due date between the two dates? I think a due date of March 13th sounds more accurate. As it is they have me going over due by 11 days (because again, I know I'm right!) and then, if i go overdue by their due date, I won't even be considered for inducement until I'm nearly 3 weeks overdue! Gah! Good thing my others came right around their due date-- hoping that means the same with this one. Especially since I am pretty set against inducement.
Oh, and we had an ultrasound done nearly 3 weeks prior to this last one to check for viability. The doctor did not measure, but guessed baby was around 7 to 7.5 weeks. So that should have put baby at 10 to 10.5 weeks on Monday.
Yeah-- totally confusing! Anyway, in the long run I don't care as long as the baby continues to develop and is healthy. I'm truly just happy to know that the baby is doing well!!
Alright, as I mentioned before, we had our ultrasound on Monday the 15th for dating purposes. We saw the baby looking like a little gummy bear! The doctor didn't say what the heart rate was, but said it looked good. According to the ultrasound the baby measured at 9 weeks and 1 day. According to my last period, baby should have been 10 weeks and 5 days. Well, I knew the baby wouldn't measure at 10w5d, as I usually ovulate around day 21 of my cycle, and not day 14 like the "typical" woman. (Though, really, what is "typical"? I don't even know that many women whose cycles are exactly 28 days long. But anyway....)
Because I ovulate 7 days later than the typical woman, my due date would still be the same as the due date for LMP (last menstrual period), as my OB's don't change your due date unless the baby measures more than 7 days different. This held true for Ephraim (don't know about Bretton). But apparently not so for this one. Which really concerns me and has me quite baffled.
If you can follow, here's why: As I stated I ovulate around day 21. I know this for a fact as I chart using BBT (basal body temperature) and OPK's (ovulation predictor kits). By charting and OPK's I ovulated day 21, right where I usually do. I also know that we only had intercourse on the 18th. Intercourse 3 days before ovulation can result in pregnancy. Intercourse 7-8 days before ovulation does not result in pregnancy (according to the "rule" that sperm only survive up to 6 days). The baby's measurements put ovulation on the 25th. Because this is 11 days later than the "typical" ovulation, the due date was moved 11 days backward. Well, whatever, the baby is going to come when it comes no matter what the due date is. But, thinking about all of this makes me wonder if the baby is growing too slowly. Or, despite the doctor doing the measurements twice and getting the same answer, maybe it was wrong. Here's the biggest kicker to me: the doctor said that ultrasounds can be off by up to a week. If that is the case, and I know with 99.99% certainty when I ovulated, why not give me a due date between the two dates? I think a due date of March 13th sounds more accurate. As it is they have me going over due by 11 days (because again, I know I'm right!) and then, if i go overdue by their due date, I won't even be considered for inducement until I'm nearly 3 weeks overdue! Gah! Good thing my others came right around their due date-- hoping that means the same with this one. Especially since I am pretty set against inducement.
Oh, and we had an ultrasound done nearly 3 weeks prior to this last one to check for viability. The doctor did not measure, but guessed baby was around 7 to 7.5 weeks. So that should have put baby at 10 to 10.5 weeks on Monday.
Yeah-- totally confusing! Anyway, in the long run I don't care as long as the baby continues to develop and is healthy. I'm truly just happy to know that the baby is doing well!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
The past few days
Summer vacation is winding down and the school year will be here before we know it-- no, more like before I want it. As much as I love my job, I love being home more. If I could afford to stay home with my children, I would jump at the chance. But for now, I need to work to support my family, and really that is just as important and special as staying home to raise the children. Besides, Eric is doing a good job with it, so for now I try to be satisfied.
For the last few days, we have been pretty busy. Nothing special really, just days together as a family. With Eric and I working a total of 4 part time jobs this summer, we didn't have much time to do a lot of family things. My two jobs are done, and Eric is down to his normal one, so he took a few days off work and we did some random things.
On Monday, we planned to go to the Maine Discovery Museum in Bangor, but decided it was a long drive and we wouldn't have been able to even head out for the trip until after 1pm, as I had an OB appointment that morning. So, instead we decided to go to Augusta and went to Red Robin for lunch. We love Red Robin! We ended up waiting for about 15 minutes before being seated. Once seated, the one thing I wanted-- and was so craving-- was not available! I was pretty irritated that they didn't bother to inform people of these things before making them wait. I ended up having a wrap, which normally is very good, but was just not what I was wanting and didn't quite taste right (probably due to the fact that nothing seems to taste right with this pregnancy). I wished shortly after receiving my wrap that I had gotten a burger instead.
We then debated on whether we wanted to go to the Augusta Children's Museum, or go home. We did a quick trip to Walmart first, as Bretton wanted to check a few things out, then headed home. As much as I would have loved to go to the museum, I also wasn't sure if it would be worth it (though the one is Bangor definitely is!). Bretton is getting to the age where it doesn't entertain him (much) anymore, and I'm not sure how much stuff is there that would really be alright for Ephraim. I'm going to ask around so that we can make a better decision and then maybe go another time.
On Tuesday Bretton had his best friend, Michael, come over for the night. We went to the Skowhegan Fair, despite the fact that it was raining. I haven't been to the Skowhegan Fair for many years, and was disappointed to see that there really wasn't much there. A lot of the space that used to be filled was empty and even the exhibition halls appeared emptier than I remember. Even still, we enjoyed walking around, seeing the animals, watching the boys play some games, and eating dinner. Well, actually, dinner wasn't exactly enjoyed. There weren't a lot of choices and we wanted to be able to sit inside, so it really gave us only one choice. We went into this booth-- something like a Lion's Club Booth-- and ordered cheeseburgers. I made it very clear that they needed to be well done, and told them it was OK to cook them even longer than they think is necessary. Well, we got our burgers and they were pink. No, red. The guys didn't seem to mind but I did. I took it back and explained that I asked for well done and that it was very important that it be cooked completely through. So they made another one. When they brought it to me they asked me to open it and look. You know what I saw? Blood! It was literally bleeding-- even worse than the first one! They asked if that was OK, and to be honest, no it wasn't! But I was tired of waiting and the guys were all almost done with their burgers so I said it was "going to have to be since they didn't seem to know how to cook a burger". I ended up feeding some of the bun to Ephraim and throwing the burger out. Luckily they gave us the money back for the burger, because if they hadn't I was going to give them an ear full on the way out. (I know, I can be super mean-- but some people irk me. And a lot of things really irk me when I am pregnant!)
So, dinner a non-success yet done, we headed out to get desserts. Eric, Ephraim, Bretton and I had some fries (Michael wasn't feeling the greatest so he didn't eat much) and Bretton and I had dough-boys. Eric and Bretton also tried deep fried snickers bars. They loved them! I had a tiny bite of Bretton's and while it was good, I don't know if I could have eaten a whole one. Plus, dough-boys are my favorite fair food, so I couldn't get full eating something else!
Today we just lounged around the house. Eric took the boys to the river to swim for awhile and Michael is staying another night. We cleaned the fridge-- throwing out more stuff than I ever imagined, and washed it down. Now, I sit here typing this. And as it is near 10 pm and I have been typing this for what seems like an eternity, I will have to post about the ultrasound tomorrow.
Goodnight.
For the last few days, we have been pretty busy. Nothing special really, just days together as a family. With Eric and I working a total of 4 part time jobs this summer, we didn't have much time to do a lot of family things. My two jobs are done, and Eric is down to his normal one, so he took a few days off work and we did some random things.
On Monday, we planned to go to the Maine Discovery Museum in Bangor, but decided it was a long drive and we wouldn't have been able to even head out for the trip until after 1pm, as I had an OB appointment that morning. So, instead we decided to go to Augusta and went to Red Robin for lunch. We love Red Robin! We ended up waiting for about 15 minutes before being seated. Once seated, the one thing I wanted-- and was so craving-- was not available! I was pretty irritated that they didn't bother to inform people of these things before making them wait. I ended up having a wrap, which normally is very good, but was just not what I was wanting and didn't quite taste right (probably due to the fact that nothing seems to taste right with this pregnancy). I wished shortly after receiving my wrap that I had gotten a burger instead.
We then debated on whether we wanted to go to the Augusta Children's Museum, or go home. We did a quick trip to Walmart first, as Bretton wanted to check a few things out, then headed home. As much as I would have loved to go to the museum, I also wasn't sure if it would be worth it (though the one is Bangor definitely is!). Bretton is getting to the age where it doesn't entertain him (much) anymore, and I'm not sure how much stuff is there that would really be alright for Ephraim. I'm going to ask around so that we can make a better decision and then maybe go another time.
On Tuesday Bretton had his best friend, Michael, come over for the night. We went to the Skowhegan Fair, despite the fact that it was raining. I haven't been to the Skowhegan Fair for many years, and was disappointed to see that there really wasn't much there. A lot of the space that used to be filled was empty and even the exhibition halls appeared emptier than I remember. Even still, we enjoyed walking around, seeing the animals, watching the boys play some games, and eating dinner. Well, actually, dinner wasn't exactly enjoyed. There weren't a lot of choices and we wanted to be able to sit inside, so it really gave us only one choice. We went into this booth-- something like a Lion's Club Booth-- and ordered cheeseburgers. I made it very clear that they needed to be well done, and told them it was OK to cook them even longer than they think is necessary. Well, we got our burgers and they were pink. No, red. The guys didn't seem to mind but I did. I took it back and explained that I asked for well done and that it was very important that it be cooked completely through. So they made another one. When they brought it to me they asked me to open it and look. You know what I saw? Blood! It was literally bleeding-- even worse than the first one! They asked if that was OK, and to be honest, no it wasn't! But I was tired of waiting and the guys were all almost done with their burgers so I said it was "going to have to be since they didn't seem to know how to cook a burger". I ended up feeding some of the bun to Ephraim and throwing the burger out. Luckily they gave us the money back for the burger, because if they hadn't I was going to give them an ear full on the way out. (I know, I can be super mean-- but some people irk me. And a lot of things really irk me when I am pregnant!)
So, dinner a non-success yet done, we headed out to get desserts. Eric, Ephraim, Bretton and I had some fries (Michael wasn't feeling the greatest so he didn't eat much) and Bretton and I had dough-boys. Eric and Bretton also tried deep fried snickers bars. They loved them! I had a tiny bite of Bretton's and while it was good, I don't know if I could have eaten a whole one. Plus, dough-boys are my favorite fair food, so I couldn't get full eating something else!
Today we just lounged around the house. Eric took the boys to the river to swim for awhile and Michael is staying another night. We cleaned the fridge-- throwing out more stuff than I ever imagined, and washed it down. Now, I sit here typing this. And as it is near 10 pm and I have been typing this for what seems like an eternity, I will have to post about the ultrasound tomorrow.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Busy
Well, the last few days have been quite busy. I will write about them tomorrow, as I am too tired to do so now. But I wanted to just check in and say that we did have an ultrasound the other day that showed a healthy baby and changed our due date. I will discuss that tomorrow as well, though!
Here's something for you:
"Don't worry about being a kleptomaniac. You can always take something for it." ~Author Unknown
Here's something for you:
"Don't worry about being a kleptomaniac. You can always take something for it." ~Author Unknown
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Laid back kinda day
Today has been a pretty laid back day. We went to the D.E.W. Animal Kingdom with Denise, then to Irvings for lunch. Eric totally surprised me and had a cheeseburger platter!! He never eats anything but breakfast when we go there-- even at dinnertime!
We came home and Eric got ready for work and left. Bretton, Ephraim, and I have just been chilling out. Ephraim finally fell asleep (in my arms) and Bretton and I are watching The Young Riders and enjoying brownie sundaes! Mmmm. :)
I'm hoping we can find some fun things to do next week. School starts in a few weeks, which means I go back to work. :(
Well, I'm going to go finish my sundae.
We came home and Eric got ready for work and left. Bretton, Ephraim, and I have just been chilling out. Ephraim finally fell asleep (in my arms) and Bretton and I are watching The Young Riders and enjoying brownie sundaes! Mmmm. :)
I'm hoping we can find some fun things to do next week. School starts in a few weeks, which means I go back to work. :(
Well, I'm going to go finish my sundae.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Bretton: Part 3
During labor, I remember calling a few people, including my teen pregnancy teacher from HS. I remember being given Demerol through an IV and at one point they had to put it back in as I had pulled Ronica over to breathe with me, and she ended up on my hand, pulling-- no, ripping-- the IV out. I also remember a nurse coming in and asking me to sign papers saying I had been admitted. I signed them, but it wasn't my signature! I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was along the lines of "that's not me!", and everyone laughed.
Everyone said I was the most polite laboring woman ever! I said please and thank you to everything and was even afraid to ask for things as I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. (Totally opposite from my labor with Ephraim-- but more on that in a separate series about him.)
At the time, I didn't think I could be in any more pain, but looking back, the labor and birth of Bretton was easy-peasy! The worst parts for me were the incredible pain in my hips, as my hips spread, and the inability to go to the bathroom as the pain was too much for me to move. I ended up getting a catheter.
Labor didn't last too long, especially considering I was told that a first labor tended to be long. The first time I was checked was a few hours after I got there, due to an emergency else where in the wing. When the nurse told me I was already 8cm I was floored. Already? It didn't seem like long before I felt the urge to push, just past 1:00 am. I was told that I couldn't push yet-- that I wasn't completely ready. I think they just wanted to get the doctor in there, because I definitely felt ready! Within a half hour or so, I was pushing. Everyone encouraged me and told me it wouldn't be long. Boy, were they wrong! I ended up pushing for over 3 hours. Exhaustion was setting in. Both from lack of sleep and from pushing for so long. I finally "gave up". I just couldn't get him out, and I didn't have any energy left. So, the doctor decided to use the vacuum to assist me. After a few pushes and a good pull from the doctor, Bretton's head emerged with a very loud pop, and I let out a short, but loud scream. My first, and last. Within moments he was completely out and the doctor was taking care of him as the cord was wrapped around his neck, he was blue and not breathing. I wanted him placed on me, but he needed to be attended to. He soon was fine and offered to me, but at that point i was being stitched from the 3rd degree tear I experienced. I was afraid I would hurt him, as I was already near breaking Alicia's hand!
Soon enough, I was holding my first born; a son whom I decided to name Bretton Daniel. He was born at 5:00 am, weighing in at 9 pounds and was 22 inches long. He had a bunch of dark hair, the chubbiest little face, and a cry that sounded like the sweetest music on earth! I never thought I could fall in love with someone or something so quickly. Seven and a half hours from water breaking to birth-- the longest and shortest time frame of my life (until Ephraim).
The years following the pregnancy and birth of Bretton were filled with joy, sorrow, hardships, laughter, and so much more. Not a moment of it worth changing, as I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, my son, life, and most of all, love. Twelve years later and I am still learning! Bretton truly is my pride and joy-- my first born baby, who will always and forever be just that, "my baby". I may have made some "mistakes" with him, but I probably will with all my children. And you know what, that's OK with me. It is all a part of life. My life. The life I never thought I wanted, but can't imagine ever giving up or not having now that I have it!
I love you Bretton-- one day, when (if) you have your own children, you will understand how much. <3
Everyone said I was the most polite laboring woman ever! I said please and thank you to everything and was even afraid to ask for things as I didn't want to be a burden on anyone. (Totally opposite from my labor with Ephraim-- but more on that in a separate series about him.)
At the time, I didn't think I could be in any more pain, but looking back, the labor and birth of Bretton was easy-peasy! The worst parts for me were the incredible pain in my hips, as my hips spread, and the inability to go to the bathroom as the pain was too much for me to move. I ended up getting a catheter.
Labor didn't last too long, especially considering I was told that a first labor tended to be long. The first time I was checked was a few hours after I got there, due to an emergency else where in the wing. When the nurse told me I was already 8cm I was floored. Already? It didn't seem like long before I felt the urge to push, just past 1:00 am. I was told that I couldn't push yet-- that I wasn't completely ready. I think they just wanted to get the doctor in there, because I definitely felt ready! Within a half hour or so, I was pushing. Everyone encouraged me and told me it wouldn't be long. Boy, were they wrong! I ended up pushing for over 3 hours. Exhaustion was setting in. Both from lack of sleep and from pushing for so long. I finally "gave up". I just couldn't get him out, and I didn't have any energy left. So, the doctor decided to use the vacuum to assist me. After a few pushes and a good pull from the doctor, Bretton's head emerged with a very loud pop, and I let out a short, but loud scream. My first, and last. Within moments he was completely out and the doctor was taking care of him as the cord was wrapped around his neck, he was blue and not breathing. I wanted him placed on me, but he needed to be attended to. He soon was fine and offered to me, but at that point i was being stitched from the 3rd degree tear I experienced. I was afraid I would hurt him, as I was already near breaking Alicia's hand!
Soon enough, I was holding my first born; a son whom I decided to name Bretton Daniel. He was born at 5:00 am, weighing in at 9 pounds and was 22 inches long. He had a bunch of dark hair, the chubbiest little face, and a cry that sounded like the sweetest music on earth! I never thought I could fall in love with someone or something so quickly. Seven and a half hours from water breaking to birth-- the longest and shortest time frame of my life (until Ephraim).
The years following the pregnancy and birth of Bretton were filled with joy, sorrow, hardships, laughter, and so much more. Not a moment of it worth changing, as I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, my son, life, and most of all, love. Twelve years later and I am still learning! Bretton truly is my pride and joy-- my first born baby, who will always and forever be just that, "my baby". I may have made some "mistakes" with him, but I probably will with all my children. And you know what, that's OK with me. It is all a part of life. My life. The life I never thought I wanted, but can't imagine ever giving up or not having now that I have it!
I love you Bretton-- one day, when (if) you have your own children, you will understand how much. <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)