Hungry

I am so hungry-- starving even.  For food, as I feel ill when I eat so I don't eat enough.  For more joy in my life. Not that I don't have any, but more would be awesome!  I love the good times, and really dislike the bad ones. For a better paying job.  Not that my job doesn't pay a decent amount compared to others, but it is my opinion that it should pay more, for many reasons I don't want to get into now.  I'd like, at least, to be a little above "making ends meet".   For guidance in what to do next.  I'm horrible in making decisions, and worry that without someone's guidance I will fail at making the decisions I need to make on my own.  Just plain hungry for so much more. 

Every day I try to think of ways that I can improve my life, my husband's life, and most importantly, the lives of my children.  In the end you know what I come up with?  Nothing.  I mean, nothing more than I already have or do.  I give my all to my family.  I do my best to provide for them-- financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally.  Sure there are times where things seem to be spiraling out of control, but who doesn't have moments like that?  In the end, as long as my family is happy, healthy, and well cared for, what else matters?

My hunger for more will probably always be there.  I hope it is, actually.  It helps keep me sane and aiming for the best for my family.  

Now to figure out the hunger for food-- I've got to nourish this growing baby!  Maybe it is time to get creative and try things that I wouldn't normally.  Hey, something has got to work, right!?