Tuesday, July 17, 2012


Wow.  I've had such a horrible day today, and it isn't even over yet.  :\  I have eaten so much junk it isn't funny.  I feel like giving up on eating healthy and exercising.  What is the point?  I feel like no matter how hard I've worked in the past or how hard I work now, I will never be as thin and healthy as I want to be. 

I can't motivate myself, and feel like I have no one else to motivate me.  Eric says to do what I want, encourages me only when I tell him that is what I need, and keeps saying he loves me how I am.  You know what?  I'm glad he loves me for me, but I don't, and I would think he would want to help me to do whatever it takes to learn to love myself.  To become happy with who I am, what I look like, my life, etc. 

I've been so down with my life and myself.  I know a huge part of that is because of my weight.  But, I can't help myself when I have no one else who cares.

I give up.

1 comment:

  1. Don't give up! It's so important to become happy and satisfied with yourself and to be able to love yourself.

    I'm sure Eric is trying to be supportive of you and show you that he loves you no matter what. He's probably struggling to show you that and motivate you at the same time, as motivation is basically saying "I love you but I wish you were more like this". Bill is also losing weight right now (He started at 318) and he asks me for motivation. I find it difficult to balance between support and motivation!

    Losing weight will definitely improve your health. The more you get older, the harder it'll be to lose the weight and the older you get, the harder it'll be on your body to have the excess weight on. That's what I tell Bill. I motivate him with goals and tell him how awesome it'll be to really get to cuddle at night again, because his weight is a main factor for sleep apnea and he has to wear a mask that makes him lay on his back most of the night. That's been one of his big drives. Can you find mini goal line prizes along the way to help you? Instead of looking at the whole amount of weight of however much you want to lose, look at 10-20 lbs at a time or so.