Friday, November 18, 2011

Long Overdue

So, with us being sick, and crazy busy, and add in my extreme lack of motivation, I never posted about our 20 week ultrasound.  So, here it is...

We went in, and as usual I was worried that something may be wrong.  Is this normal for other moms?  It happens to me every pregnancy, so I assume it is, but maybe I am just overly paranoid.  Anyway, Bri was coming in with us to find out the gender, as she will be doing our nursery for us.  See, we decided to not find out the gender, yet we really wanted to have the baby's room be "gender specific".  We chose nursery themes, color schemes, ideas, etc.  We asked Bri if she would like to do our nursery for us, which would mean she would know the gender and we wouldn't.  Of course, she said yes!  :) 

The ultrasound tech was great.  She said baby was very healthy-- something she said a number of times, which made me feel better.  She did all her measurements and picture taking and near the end she made me lay on both sides, and jiggled baby to get him/her to move so that she could get a profile picture.  Nothing worked.  It would have been cool to have one, but that's OK.  We got a ton of pictures of the baby's face and a few of it's feet. 

Finally at the end, she told Eric and I to turn away so that we couldn't see anything.  She explained to Bri was to look for, and typed the gender (then deleted it).  She asked Bri if what she saw was the same as what she typed and Bri agreed-- must have been a very clear/obvious shot!  Now, Bri can tease us and say she knows something we don't!  Poo on her!  Haha.

So, now we wait.  It is kind of hard waiting, I will admit.  On the other hand, it is fun and exciting.  The thought of waiting until the baby is born and having Eric announce the baby by name is something that really warms my heart and I can't wait for that moment!  Then, to top it off, we will get to come home from the hospital to see what Bri does to the nursery!  (She will be working on it while we are at the hospital.)

I can't wait for March! I'm nervous to have two young ones, but so excited to add another member to our family!

Sunday, November 13, 2011

One Of Those Weeks

It seems my family and I can't catch much of a break right now.  Currently, my husband and I both have pretty bad colds.  He can't sleep because his nose is so full and I can't sleep because my throat is on fire and swallowing is near impossible.  This came directly after a stomach virus that Eric, Ephraim, and I all had.  (Luckily, Bretton rarely gets ill and hasn't been hit with anything more than a sore belly for one day.)

On Monday, Eric has said he felt a little nauseous but didn't seem sick beyond that.  I went to work as usual thinking it would be just like most days and that when I got home Eric would be feeling much better.  Sadly, this wasn't the case.  As the day wore on, I had very little appetite and got a super horrible headache.  Now, I get headaches regularly, but this one wasn't like my usual ones.  No matter what I did I couldn't get rid of it.  I figured it was from not eating much, yet I couldn't get myself to eat much more than I already had.  When I got home, Eric said he was feeling about the same as he did before I left for work.  Bretton and Ephraim seemed fine though, so we didn't think much more of it.  Until the next morning. 

Eric slept in the living room that night-- our first night not in the same bed together!  I suggested it since he was feeling yucky and didn't get much sleep.  I thought that maybe if he got a good nights sleep he would feel better and that maybe he wasn't feeling well because for over 15 months now neither of us have had a complete full night of sleep. 

All night I was in and out of the bathroom.  By 5 am I decided to get up and have some mint magic tea, hoping it would help ease my belly aches.  Nope.  The moment I started drinking it I was right back into the bathroom.  I spent the rest of the day unable to hold even a sip of water down.  By that afternoon, Eric called the OB and they had me go to the outpatient clinic at the hospital to get an IV.  I was so dehydrated from all the vomiting and diarrhea and moving even an inch caused me to vomit more.  They gave me Fennigan (sp?) to help ease the nausea and then 2 bags of fluids in only 2 hours.  It pumped fast and furious, but I was out cold pretty much the whole time!  The OB came and checked on me once in the middle, then again near the end to listen to the baby.  He said I had a virus and that I should feel better by the next day.  I didn't believe him-- especially when it was time to leave and I couldn't move.  Once Eric and the nurse got me into a wheelchair I was vomiting yet again!  Didn't seem at the time like the drugs were doing any good!

I got home and slept pretty much the rest of the evening and through the night.  By morning I was 80% better and no one else was sick.  I thought we were in the clear!  I took Wednesday off from work to finish recovering.  Thursday morning I woke up and got ready for work.  Not even an hour before I needed to leave, both Eric and Ephraim were vomiting!  So, as hard as it was to call in, as I am sure they had a difficult time finding a sub (if they even found one at all), I knew I couldn't leave Eric to tend to himself and a 15 month old. 

Ephraim was fine by the next day, but Eric was stick feeling bad and had a cold to top it all off.  He called into work both Thursday and Friday.  I had called in Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday.  What a horrible time of year, with the holidays and winter (meaning oil heat) to miss so much work!  I am going to use sick days, despite not wanting to.  I was trying to save them for maternity leave.  Now I am down to 9 left, I think?

Anyway, what a week it has been.  So hoping we feel better before Monday!  I really need to get back to normal and feel healthy again!  Plus, I hate having my family sick. 

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Time Flies, And Yet It Drags

I can't believe it has been so long since I have written anything.  I guess it has slipped my mind in the midst of life and pregnancy brain!  I have some things to share, but it is way too hard to type with a 15 month old sitting with me.  So, for now I'm telling you to check out Pinterest if you haven't already done so-- but be warned!  It can be so very addicting!

I'll update tomorrow, if everyone is well enough for me to do so.

Friday, October 7, 2011

No Bake's!!

Yay!!  Eric and I finally made the no bake cookies I have been wanting for weeks!  Problem now will be keeping me limited on them as I am trying hard to keep the sweets under control.  My cravings this pregnancy have been mainly for sweets, and I don't want to gain too much, or hurt baby or myself, especially if I have GD-- which I won't know for another month or so. 

Anyway, the batch came out fantastic!  Usually, they come out either too dry, or too sticky.  Not this time.  They were just right.  Chewy and gooey, but not so much that it sticks to you, with a wonderful flavor.  Sometimes i think they just don't taste right if the consistancy isn't right.  Does that happen to others?

Anyway, just wanted to share.  I will try to post some pictures of them later.  Right now I must attend to a cranky, teething, possibly ear-infected, raw bum, naked, feverish little blondie!

Long Weekend Ahead

**I am typing one handed so I apologize for (extra) mistakes!*** Apparently I forgot to hit post!  I typed this last night.**

I have been craving no bake cookies for two weeks now.  I went to make them one night and we were out of butter!  Eric bought butter the other night for me, yet I haven't made them yet!  I really need to get to it!  I'm hoping to get a chance to make them tomorrow, but our day tomorrow seems to be filling up quickly!

It is a four day weekend for me, hence the long weekend ahead title.  Tomorrow is a teacher workshop day, but furlough day for support staff, so I get to stay home.  Then Monday is a holiday so we have that off as well.  We just had a half day on Wednesday as well, and have another half day in two weeks.  What a waste of precious teaching time!  The state wonders why the students aren't meeting standards and aren't scoring well on standardized tests...  Hello, school is only 6 hours day with a lot of vacations, workshops, and half days thrown in.  Then they require the students to take a bunch of tests. So far we have been testing for 4 weeks now!  What a waste.  All that time that could be spent in the classroom learning instead of taking a test that, in my opinion, essentially proves nothing.

Anyway, Friday is filling up fast with things to do and Saturday Bretton is going to a camp out-- ready to freeze!  Sunday we may go apple picking and Monday the van gets inspected.  I know there is more to do this weekend, I just don't remember what!  I wish there was a full day to just sit at home and do absolutely nothing! 

Well, I'm exhausted and Ephraim is super cranky.  Off to put him to bed!!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sorry-- stupid photos!!!

For whatever reason, the blog cut my photos in half and I can't figure out how to fix them!!!!!!!  I will have to mess with it another day.  Sorry for the weird half pictures!

Past Meals

In a recent post, I said I was going to start posting cooking/baking stuff.  So, here is the first one.

So, about a week ago or so, we had cheese, steak, and pepper sandwiches with a side of zucchini "chips".   I took some pictures knowing I wanted to start blogging about cooking and baking, but forgot shortly after!  So, here they are.  Nothing fancy, just a craving and last minute throw together meal.   (My camera sucks, as does my ability to take pictures, so I apologize for the terrible shots.)

 Zucchini "Chips":Photobucket

The dinner plate:

I have another (little) "chef" in my house.  Last night, Bretton cooked dinner.  I try to let him chose a meal once a week or so to make.   He always does a great job, even when the meals sound sort-of "crazy".  This time he chose stuffed chicken breasts (stuffed with stuffing), mashed potatoes, corn, and broccoli.  We've never had them before so this was a new process for both of us.  He didn't want a recipe to go off, either!  He made the meal himself, while I supervised.  The only thing I did was cut the breasts in half for him.

He chose to bread the chicken first.  Then he cooked them for about a half hour at 400*, and stuffed them after.  He then put them back in the oven for another 10 minutes.  They came out really good and will be added to our rotating menu!  Here's a few pictures of the meal.

The stuffed chicken breasts:Photobucket

The dinner plate:

Sunday, October 2, 2011


I'm thinking I might start adding some posts every now and then (or maybe more than that) with cooking/baking stuff.  I'm going to start later today with dinner pictures from a few nights ago, and maybe something from today-- if I get around to making anything.

I always want to try new things, but am always afraid to spend the money and time on it with the possibility of at least one family member hating it.  Or worse, everyone hating it!

Anyway, that's my thoughts for now.  I have to go put a sleeping baby down so I can get something to eat.  I'm starving!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Crazy Week (last week)

**Note: I had most of this typed and saved it to finish then never did! So, I finished it tonight and here it is.**

This past week has been a crazy one to say the least.  Monday was sort of normal, as far as I can remember.  Oh, except that Ephraim has screamed through most of the night holding his ears so Eric took him to the doctor who said he was just teething.

Tuesday morning I woke up to find half a pot of coffee brewing onto the kitchen floor!  What a way to start the day.  We also had another OB appointment that day, in which I was nervous about.  I was excited to get to hear my baby's heartbeat, but nervous that they may not find it and something would be wrong.   At the appointment the nurse said that it was too early to hear the baby's heartbeat but that maybe Daisy (the midwife we were seeing that day) would still try and that we should ask her.  Um, of course she will try, I'm into my second trimester, lady!

As soon as Daisy came in the room I knew I wouldn't have to ask as she had the doppler with her!  She said it could take a few minutes to find (which I knew) but actually found it fairly quickly, considering.  My heart melted, of course.  It is always a beautiful thing to hear your baby's heartbeat.  Eric was holding Ephraim and I looked at the two of them.  Eric had a gleam in his eye, and Ephraim had a  "what the heck is that noise" look on his face! 

Wednesday I felt crappy and Ephraim hardly slept, again.   I was coming down with something, as was Eric, but wasn't sure what or how bad.  So, Wednesday night we went to the store to get Sudafed, as the doctor said that is the only cold medicine I am allowed to have during pregnancy.  We couldn't find it anywhere so we asked at the pharmacy.  The assistant asked who it was for, and I said myself.  She said it is behind the counter now (I wouldn't know this as I never used it before).  OK, well I asked how much it would cost and she said $4 something.  Sweet.  Cheaper than I expected and my throat and nose were killing me so we decided to get it.  She then asked for ID.  Um, I don't carry mine on me most of the time.  It was in the van, and I could go get it, but didn't want too, so Eric pulled out his ID to pay for it.  She said he couldn't buy it for someone else, so she asked the pharmacist for permission-- which she got.   Since when does it matter?  Eric can pick up any prescription for me, even scheduled narcotics, but can't buy Sudafed for me?!  WTH is this world coming to?  Anyway, I made a comment about how stupid the policy is since he's my own husband and it would be going to OUR home.  Then, she asked Eric how old he was-- when he said 21 she gave him the dirtiest look.  I could tell she didn't believe him.  Um, again, WTH?  He is showing you his ID, lady!  Finally we bought it and left thinking our week of crazy may be turning better.

Hahaha-- nope!  Thursday morning I went to work, punched in, and got out a pile of papers to organize and make my plans for the next week.  No sooner was my table covered in stuff did the phone ring.  It just so happens that I was the one to go answer it.  I saw Eric's cell number so I picked up the phone and said hi.  On the other end I hear Eric near tears telling me I need to come home.  I asked him why and he said something about falling with Ephraim and that Ephraim was bleeding.  I quickly hung up and flew out of the school.  (Apologies to anyone who saw me and thought I must have been looney.  But my adrenaline was rushing and my worst fears flying through my mind!)  As soon as I got home, I could see that Eric was beyond hurt-- he was pretty much a wreck.  I held Ephraim and asked if Eric was OK and what happened.

Eric explained that he was carrying Ephraim and tripped on a toy, making both of them hit the floor.  Ephraim's face hit the hardwood floor, and of course he screamed.  Eric picked him right up to comfort him and soon found blood coming from his nose (both nostrils) and mouth.  He was worried about his teeth but couldn't see them.  His gums had swollen up too fast.  So, we got a flashlight and looked around Ephraim's mouth.  All his teeth were in place, but barely seen from behind swollen gums.  I told Eric that even if he lost a tooth, it is better to lose a baby one!  We then called the doctor to have him seen.

The doctor said he looked good, but to keep an eye on him for signs of a serious head injury just in case.  Vomiting a lot would be a sign.  Sure enough, Ephraim vomited throughout the day, so we ended up in the ED that evening.  I've never seen them get us in and out so fast.  It took about an hour from getting there to being discharged.  They said he looked good and to keep watch.

So, along comes Friday.  I tend to have a love-hate relationship with Fridays, and this particular one had me in a cranky mood. I made the most of my day even though I felt like screaming at everyone and everything and just laying in bed all day.  After work I took Eric to work, came home and tried to relax, then went back to get Eric.  We decided to stop at Hannaford on the way home to pick up a few items and what do you know, our evening just got more interesting-- to say the least.  Eric grabbed some items and went to check out while I was off grabbing some other things.  We decided it would be faster that way and that we would just meet back at the car.  Well, I happened to be a few people behind Eric in line and right after he left the store the cashier started in about how Eric was stupid and so on.  I was pretty irritated at this, but decided it was better to hold my tongue, especially with how irritable I was in general that day.  But, when a man behind me started calling Eric mentally challenge, and saying the cashier shouldn't sell things to a mentally challenged person, I flipped.  There was no way I was allowing someone to call my husband names and think they were getting away with it!  The man proceeded to accuse Eric of probably being a drunk who does nothing.  The cashier laughed and agreed.  I looked at both of them and very angrily told them that unless they knew what they were talking about they should shut their mouths.  I explained that Eric was my husband, who just got done work, takes care of his family, and is probably a better man than either of them could ever even dream of being.  They laughed and said something else, where I responded with some choice words and said they were darn lucky I was pregnant otherwise I'd be using more than words one them.

So, Saturday we went to Hannaford and spoke with a manager.  She apologized a few times, said the cashier was going to be getting spoken too quite harshly, and then generously gave us a $25 gift card!!  What a great ending to Friday's craziness.  But Saturday night wasn't much better.  I was super sick, and ended up driving myself to the ER because my chest was super tight and I was having trouble breathing.  My cough wasn't helping, either.

So, that was our week. 

Monday, September 19, 2011


All I am going to say is that I am a pretty emotional person, and this pregnancy isn't helping!  I hate it-- I don't even want to be upset, or angry, or frustrated, yet it comes out full force.

And I suck at this blogging thing!

That's it for now.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Spilled Milk-- or coffee rather.

You know it is going to be one of "those days" when you wake up to find the half of the coffee in the pot and the other half being brewed onto the floor.  Then, Bretton couldn't find his bag of mini pepperoni which he uses to make wraps for his school lunch.   Then, as if having nothing to wear to work as it is isn't enough, none of what I do wear actually fits me anymore!  I am currently wearing a skirt that zips in the front, with no way to zip it.  So, I have a bella band on, but that isn't the most comfortable thing either.  Hopefully it at least holds the skirt up all day and doesn't look too weird.

If this is any indication as to not only the day ahead, but our OB appointment this afternoon, I'd rather go back to bed right now.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Ephraim: Part 1

After a devastating loss on September 12th, 2009 (first trimester miscarriage), my OB said it was OK to try to conceive again after one cycle.  Eric and I discussed the pros and cons of conceiving so soon.  For me, the cons seemed to outweigh the pros, even if just a tiny bit.  (Not getting into our lists as they are very personal and too long.)  Eric on the other hand thought the pros far outweighed the cons.  Honestly, I think he was just so devastated at the loss of Arden (we named the baby Eric's top name choice), that he wanted to help fill that hole in his heart.  In the end, we decided to actively try and see what God had in store for us.

On November 17th, I took a pregnancy test and got a faint line.  So faint I wasn't sure if I was seeing it or not.  I took another the next day, but this time it was a digital.  It showed up positive within about 30 seconds-- no denying it with the word "Pregnant" right in front of us!  I couldn't decide how to feel.  A flood of emotions flowed through me.  I was excited, but scared.  Sad for the loss of Arden-- I wasn't trying to replace that child, and pray(ed) regularly that Arden knows that.

It took me a week or two to be completely at ease with the idea of being pregnant again so quickly.  Even though we were actively trying, I never expected to get pregnant right away.  I was still afraid that something was going to go wrong, and I had days where I cried for Arden, but I also knew (and still know) that everything happens with a reason and purpose.  It is weird to think about how Ephraim wouldn't be here if we hadn't lost Arden.  And sometimes Eric and I talk about what Arden would have been like had he been the one we brought home.

Things went well for the first 11 weeks.  I had morning sickness on and off, but nothing too horrible.  I had weird cramping, stretching if ligaments, and sore breasts.  A lot of the typical early pregnancy symptoms.  Then at 11 weeks I woke up for my usual middle of the night bathroom break (only during pregnancy) to find that I was bleeding.  I started crying and wondered if I should tell Eric or not.  After what seemed like forever, I went back to bed and was planning to wait until morning to tell him, but he heard me crying and asked what was wrong.  I told him, and I could feel the fear within him.  The same fear I had, and that we had gone through only a few months before. 

We agreed that since the bleeding wasn't bad enough to warrant an ED visit, to go back to sleep and call the OB the next day.  When I did call, I spoke with my all time favorite "doctor", Daisy.  (She is actually a nurse midwife who works for the OB's office, hence the quotes around doctor.)  She told me to come to the hospital as she was on call that day and to go straight to radiology where she would let them know to do an ultrasound.  After the ultrasound we were to go to the birthing unit to see her for an internal exam. 

We were so relieved to see a squirmy baby on the screen with a good heart rate.  And Daisy said she didn't see any blood or where it would have come from and gave us the all clear.  Thank the Lord!  I was so worried.  Yet, I still worried after too.  But, that's me, a worrier.  I can't seem to help but worry about every little thing.  Even things that most people would never worry about!

Part 2 to be posted as soon as I have time to write it!

Saturday, September 3, 2011

The "Ephraim Series"

I finally started working on the series for the pregnancy and birth for Ephraim.  Sadly, it will probably be longer than Bretton's, since I remember it better (an 11 year difference does that to you).  So, it may take some time.  I am hoping part 1 will be posted by tomorrow.

In the meantime, watch this inspirational video.  One of my favorites!

Friday, September 2, 2011


I've cried plenty of tears today for every person in Maine, I'm sure!  I keep thinking about the "what if's".  I keep asking Eric what are we going to do if at our next OB appointment there is no heartbeat?  What if something is "wrong" with our unborn baby?  What if...? What if...? What if...?  Of course, being the laid back guy that he is, he always tells me that everything is and will be OK, and that no matter what we will get through anything that may lay before us.  Well, I know that, but it doesn't change my fears.

Today though, I have just not felt "right" about things.  Maybe I am just being more paranoid than usual.  I think partly because of the lack of symptoms, partly because I know what a miscarriage is like and I don't ever want to lose another child-- during pregnancy or during their life. 

Someone on my birth board then posted a link to a heartbreaking, yet inspiring story that has had me in tears for near an hour.  So, instead of you reading more of my random boring life, go read this amazing story!  (But be prepared to cry!)

Friday, August 26, 2011


Hurricane Irene is making its way north along the east coast.  It can hit Maine anytime between Sunday and Monday from what I understand.  At first we weren't worried-- and while we still aren't really, we are preparing.  The forecast says that our area will see high, damaging winds, power outages, 10+ inches of rain, flash floods and more.  We are pretty far inland so for us this is big.  We don't get hurricanes in Maine!

So, while we have most of the supplies we need, we do need to get some stuff done around here today before Eric goes to work.  We need to put all the outdoor stuff in the garage, do all the laundry and dishes, and make sure we have an emergency bag in case we need to leave the house for some reason. 

Anyway, I've been horrible at this blogging!  I am going to try to do the series on my pregnancy and birth of Ephraim this weekend, if the power doesn't go out!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Ultrasound results

**Warning: information regarding my cycles and "intimate life" are included in this post.  If this bothers you, please do not read any further!**

Alright, as I mentioned before, we had our ultrasound on Monday the 15th for dating purposes.  We saw the baby looking like a little gummy bear!  The doctor didn't say what the heart rate was, but said it looked good.  According to the ultrasound the baby measured at 9 weeks and 1 day.  According to my last period, baby should have been 10 weeks and 5 days.  Well, I knew the baby wouldn't measure at 10w5d, as I usually ovulate around day 21 of my cycle, and not day 14 like the "typical" woman.  (Though, really, what is "typical"?  I don't even know that many women whose cycles are exactly 28 days long.  But anyway....)

Because I ovulate 7 days later than the typical woman, my due date would still be the same as the due date for LMP (last menstrual period), as my OB's don't change your due date unless the baby measures more than 7 days different.  This held true for Ephraim (don't know about Bretton).  But apparently not so for this one.   Which really concerns me and has me quite baffled. 

If you can follow, here's why:  As I stated I ovulate around day 21.  I know this for a fact as I chart using BBT (basal body temperature) and OPK's  (ovulation predictor kits).  By charting and OPK's I ovulated day 21, right where I usually do.  I also know that we only had intercourse on the 18th.  Intercourse 3 days before ovulation can result in pregnancy.  Intercourse 7-8 days before ovulation does not result in pregnancy (according to the "rule" that sperm only survive up to 6 days).  The baby's measurements put ovulation on the 25th.   Because this is 11 days later than the "typical" ovulation, the due date was moved 11 days backward.  Well, whatever, the baby is going to come when it comes no matter what the due date is.  But, thinking about all of this makes me wonder if the baby is growing too slowly.  Or, despite the doctor doing the measurements twice and getting the same answer, maybe it was wrong.  Here's the biggest kicker to me:  the doctor said that ultrasounds can be off by up to a week.  If that is the case, and I know with 99.99% certainty when I ovulated, why not give me a due date between the two dates?  I think a due date of March 13th sounds more accurate.  As it is they have me going over due by 11 days (because again, I know I'm right!) and then, if i go overdue by their due date, I won't even be considered for inducement until I'm nearly 3 weeks overdue!  Gah!  Good thing my others came right around their due date-- hoping that means the same with this one.  Especially since I am pretty set against inducement.

Oh, and we had an ultrasound done nearly 3 weeks prior to this last one to check for viability.  The doctor did not measure, but guessed baby was around 7 to 7.5 weeks.  So that should have put baby at 10 to 10.5 weeks on Monday.

Yeah-- totally confusing!  Anyway, in the long run I don't care as long as the baby continues to develop and is healthy.  I'm truly just happy to know that the baby is doing well!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

The past few days

Summer vacation is winding down and the school year will be here before we know it-- no, more like before I want it.  As much as I love my job, I love being home more.  If I could afford to stay home with my children, I would jump at the chance.  But for now, I need to work to support my family, and really that is just as important and special as staying home to raise the children.  Besides, Eric is doing a good job with it, so for now I try to be satisfied.

For the last few days, we have been pretty busy.  Nothing special really, just days together as a family.  With Eric and I working a total of 4 part time jobs this summer, we didn't have much time to do a lot of family things.  My two jobs are done, and Eric is down to his normal one, so he took a few days off work and we did some random things.

On Monday, we planned to go to the Maine Discovery Museum in Bangor, but decided it was a long drive and we wouldn't have been able to even head out for the trip until after 1pm, as I had an OB appointment that morning.  So, instead we decided to go to Augusta and went to Red Robin for lunch.  We love Red Robin!  We ended up waiting for about 15 minutes before being seated.  Once seated, the one thing I wanted-- and was so craving-- was not available!  I was pretty irritated that they didn't bother to inform people of these things before making them wait.  I ended up having a wrap, which normally is very good, but was just not what I was wanting and didn't quite taste right (probably due to the fact that nothing seems to taste right with this pregnancy).  I wished shortly after receiving my wrap that I had gotten a burger instead. 

We then debated on whether we wanted to go to the Augusta Children's Museum, or go home.  We did a quick trip to Walmart first, as Bretton wanted to check a few things out, then headed home.  As much as I would have loved to go to the museum, I also wasn't sure if it would be worth it (though the one is Bangor definitely is!).  Bretton is getting to the age where it doesn't entertain him (much) anymore, and I'm not sure how much stuff is there that would really be alright for Ephraim.  I'm going to ask around so that we can make a better decision and then maybe go another time.

On Tuesday Bretton had his best friend, Michael, come over for the night.  We went to the Skowhegan Fair, despite the fact that it was raining.  I haven't been to the Skowhegan Fair for many years, and was disappointed to see that there really wasn't much there.  A lot of the space that used to be filled was empty and even the exhibition halls appeared emptier than I remember.  Even still, we enjoyed walking around, seeing the animals, watching the boys play some games, and eating dinner.  Well, actually, dinner wasn't exactly enjoyed.  There weren't a lot of choices and we wanted to be able to sit inside, so it really gave us only one choice.  We went into this booth-- something like a Lion's Club Booth-- and ordered cheeseburgers.  I made it very clear that they needed to be well done, and told them it was OK to cook them even longer than they think is necessary.  Well, we got our burgers and they were pink.  No, red.  The guys didn't seem to mind but I did.  I took it back and explained that I asked for well done and that it was very important that it be cooked completely through.  So they made another one.  When they brought it to me they asked me to open it and look.  You know what I saw?  Blood!  It was literally bleeding-- even worse than the first one!  They asked if that was OK, and to be honest, no it wasn't!  But I was tired of waiting and the guys were all almost done with their burgers so I said it was "going to have to be since they didn't seem to know how to cook a burger".  I ended up feeding some of the bun to Ephraim and throwing the burger out.  Luckily they gave us the money back for the burger, because if they hadn't I was going to give them an ear full on the way out.  (I know, I can be super mean-- but some people irk me.  And a lot of things really irk me when I am pregnant!) 

So, dinner a non-success yet done, we headed out to get desserts.  Eric, Ephraim, Bretton and I had some fries (Michael wasn't feeling the greatest so he didn't eat much) and Bretton and I had dough-boys.  Eric and Bretton also tried deep fried snickers bars.  They loved them!  I had a tiny bite of Bretton's and while it was good, I don't know if I could have eaten a whole one.  Plus, dough-boys are my favorite fair food, so I couldn't get full eating something else!

Today we just lounged around the house.  Eric took the boys to the river to swim for awhile and Michael is staying another night.  We cleaned the fridge-- throwing out more stuff than I ever imagined, and washed it down.  Now, I sit here typing this.  And as it is near 10 pm and I have been typing this for what seems like an eternity, I will have to post about the ultrasound tomorrow.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011


Well, the last few days have been quite busy.  I will write about them tomorrow, as I am too tired to do so now. But I wanted to just check in and say that we did have an ultrasound the other day that showed a healthy baby and changed our due date.  I will discuss that tomorrow as well, though! 

Here's something for you:
"Don't worry about being a kleptomaniac.  You can always take something for it."  ~Author Unknown

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Laid back kinda day

Today has been a pretty laid back day.  We went to the D.E.W. Animal Kingdom with Denise, then to Irvings for lunch.  Eric totally surprised me and had a cheeseburger platter!!  He never eats anything but breakfast when we go there-- even at dinnertime!

We came home and Eric got ready for work and left.  Bretton, Ephraim, and I have just been chilling out.  Ephraim finally fell asleep (in my arms) and Bretton and I are watching The Young Riders and enjoying brownie sundaes!  Mmmm.  :)

I'm hoping we can find some fun things to do next week.  School starts in a few weeks, which means I go back to work.  :(

Well, I'm going to go finish my sundae. 

Friday, August 12, 2011

Bretton: Part 3

During labor, I remember calling a few people, including my teen pregnancy teacher from HS.  I remember being given Demerol through an IV and at one point they had to put it back in as I had pulled Ronica over to breathe with me, and she ended up on my hand, pulling-- no, ripping-- the IV out.  I also remember a nurse coming in and asking me to sign papers saying I had been admitted.  I signed them, but it wasn't my signature!  I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was along the lines of "that's not me!", and everyone laughed.

Everyone said I was the most polite laboring woman ever!  I said please and thank you to everything and was even afraid to ask for things as I didn't want to be a burden on anyone.  (Totally opposite from my labor with Ephraim-- but more on that in a separate series about him.)

At the time, I didn't think I could be in any more pain, but looking back, the labor and birth of Bretton was easy-peasy!  The worst parts for me were the incredible pain in my hips, as my hips spread, and  the inability to go to the bathroom as the pain was too much for me to move.  I ended up getting a catheter. 

Labor didn't last too long, especially considering I was told that a first labor tended to be long.  The first time I was checked was a few hours after I got there, due to an emergency else where in the wing.  When the nurse told me I was already 8cm I was floored.  Already?   It didn't seem like long before I felt the urge to push, just past 1:00 am.  I was told that I couldn't push yet-- that I wasn't completely ready.  I think they just wanted to get the doctor in there, because I definitely felt ready!  Within a half hour or so, I was pushing.  Everyone encouraged me and told me it wouldn't be long.  Boy, were they wrong!  I ended up pushing for over 3 hours.  Exhaustion was setting in.  Both from lack of sleep and from pushing for so long.  I finally "gave up".  I just couldn't get him out, and I didn't have any energy left.  So, the doctor decided to use the vacuum to assist me.  After a few pushes and a good pull from the doctor, Bretton's head emerged with a very loud pop, and I let out a short, but loud scream.  My first, and last.  Within moments he was completely out and the doctor was taking care of him as the cord was wrapped around his neck, he was blue and not breathing.  I wanted him placed on me, but he needed to be attended to.  He soon was fine and offered to me, but at that point i was being stitched from the 3rd degree tear I experienced.  I was afraid I would hurt him, as I was already near breaking Alicia's hand!

Soon enough, I was holding my first born; a son whom I decided to name Bretton Daniel.  He was born at 5:00 am, weighing in at 9 pounds and was 22 inches long.  He had a bunch of dark hair, the chubbiest little face, and a cry that sounded like the sweetest music on earth!  I never thought I could fall in love with someone or something so quickly.  Seven and a half hours from water breaking to birth-- the longest and shortest time frame of my life (until Ephraim).

The years following the pregnancy and birth of Bretton were filled with joy, sorrow, hardships, laughter, and so much more.  Not a moment of it worth changing, as I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.  I have learned a tremendous amount about myself, my son, life, and most of all, love.   Twelve years later and I am still learning!   Bretton truly is my pride and joy-- my first born baby, who will always and forever be just that, "my baby".   I may have made some "mistakes" with him, but I probably will with all my children.  And you know what, that's OK with me.  It is all a part of life.  My life.  The life I never thought I wanted, but can't imagine ever giving up or not having now that I have it!

I love you Bretton-- one day, when (if) you have your own children, you will understand how much.  <3


I had some mild cramping last night, but often times that happens in pregnancy so I didn't worry too much about it.  I worried more about the fact that I couldn't sleep.  Now, I am worried about the severe back pain I am having.

It feels very much like the beginning stages of back labor.  This can potentially be a bad sign.  I haven't started to bleed or anything, thank goodness, but I am on the lookout for it to happen.  I am praying this isn't the beginning of a miscarriage.  But, it reminds me of how my last miscarriage started. 

I can barely move-- it hurts so bad.  I'm not sure if I should call the doctor or wait it out.

I'm going to try to be optimistic and hope for the best.  Maybe I am just having some weird pains that will go away soon.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Bretton: Part 2

The last few months of pregnancy seemed to go by slow, yet fast.  I had so much to do and think about and not nearly the same amount of time as most people have!  As time went on, my main focus was to make sure I graduated from HS.

February turned into March, then April, May, and before I knew it June.  I graduated HS on June 13th, 1999.  It was a super hot day and I was roasting.  I will always remember and be thankful of a classmate who was sitting behind me.  She had an ice pack and shared it with me.  She put it on my neck a number of times.  What a wonderful thing for her to do!  All I could think about was getting into a cool building and for the braxton hicks to stop.  Why in the world did graduation ceremonies need to be so long and drawn out.  Don't they realize that most people aren't even listening, nor do they even care?!

The last 3 weeks before Bretton was born seemed to creep by slowly.  During those weeks, some friends took me out to try and start labor.  We went mudding, we went on bumpy back roads when driving, and a few other things that I can't quite recall right now.  Nothing worked.  Until June 30th.  I was with Ronica (best friend from HS) and Rosie (Ronica's mom, like a mom to me) while they were house sitting for someone.  Rosie had just gotten home from a long shift-- more than 24 hours-- and went to take a shower, warning me not to go into labor until she had a shower and some sleep.  Alicia was also there (another friend from HS), spending the night with us. 

Rosie gave me an exercise ball that she brought home from work and I started bouncing on it.  I had heard that doing so would/could help with effacement and dilation.  So, we figured it was worth a shot.  Not even 10 minutes after being on the ball I felt like I had to pee.  I remember jumping up and saying so out loud.  Rosie was in the bathroom still, so I didn't know what to do!  The urge was so sudden and I was afraid I was going to pee myself.  Ronica grabbed me and pulled me into the kitchen-- the owners of the house had jokingly said not to get any after birth on their rugs!

Before I knew it, a big gush of hot liquid was running out of me.  I made it into the bathroom and continued to lose this liquid while on the toilet.  I thought I was peeing, yet how could it be so hot and how could i have so much of it?!  It didn't take long to realize my water broke!  This was at about 9:30 pm.

I got changed, grabbed my hospital bag, and called the hospital to let them know.  Either Rosie or Ronica grabbed a towel for the front seat of Ronica's car, since I was soaked yet again.  It seemed like an endless waterfall!  I remember walking into the ED (as it was after hours, around 10 pm) like a penguin because I was so wet and felt so gross.   I was sent right up to OB where they put me into one of their two labor rooms.  I was given the smaller one as someone else had just given birth in the big one, but was told they could move me into it later so I could use the labor tub.  I was never moved, which disappointed me.

My memory of the labor and birth is in bits and pieces.  And to be honest, I think it is in bits and pieces for the people that weren't on drugs because sometimes no one really agrees on the little details.  But in the end, it is what I remember that matters, and the fact that the next morning, I gave birth to a beautiful little boy.

Friday, August 5, 2011


I am so hungry-- starving even.  For food, as I feel ill when I eat so I don't eat enough.  For more joy in my life. Not that I don't have any, but more would be awesome!  I love the good times, and really dislike the bad ones. For a better paying job.  Not that my job doesn't pay a decent amount compared to others, but it is my opinion that it should pay more, for many reasons I don't want to get into now.  I'd like, at least, to be a little above "making ends meet".   For guidance in what to do next.  I'm horrible in making decisions, and worry that without someone's guidance I will fail at making the decisions I need to make on my own.  Just plain hungry for so much more. 

Every day I try to think of ways that I can improve my life, my husband's life, and most importantly, the lives of my children.  In the end you know what I come up with?  Nothing.  I mean, nothing more than I already have or do.  I give my all to my family.  I do my best to provide for them-- financially, emotionally, physically, and mentally.  Sure there are times where things seem to be spiraling out of control, but who doesn't have moments like that?  In the end, as long as my family is happy, healthy, and well cared for, what else matters?

My hunger for more will probably always be there.  I hope it is, actually.  It helps keep me sane and aiming for the best for my family.  

Now to figure out the hunger for food-- I've got to nourish this growing baby!  Maybe it is time to get creative and try things that I wouldn't normally.  Hey, something has got to work, right!?

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Bretton: Part 1

I missed a good portion of my first semester of my Senior year of High School as I was severely ill 24/7.  I went to the doctor a few times, but no one was able to tell me what was wrong.  I couldn't stand the smell of hotdogs, I could barely keep food down, and I lost well over 40 pounds in less than 5 months.  And despite these "symptoms", I still didn't know what was about to hit me...

On February 12, 1999 I was sitting in the main lobby of my High School, waiting for the bell to ring for the next period to begin.  (As a Senior, I didn't have a full course load and often come to school only when I had classes or sat in the library reading while waiting for my classes to begin.)  It was the last day of school before winter break, and I had only been back to school full time for a month or so. I loved school, but was ready for a the break and looking forward to actually being able to do things with my friends without  feeling so ill.  Then, out of no where a sharp shooting pain hit my right lower abdomen.  I doubled over in pain.  I tried to breathe through it, to walk it off, but nothing worked.  It got so intense I ended up literally crawling 150 feet or so to the nurse's office.  Through gritted teeth and loss of breath, I did my best to explain to them what was wrong.  The nurse's secretary quickly got help and I was basically carried to her car and driven to the ED.

What seemed like forever passed, then an ED doctor came in.  He looked over the results of some tests they had me do (urine and blood) and then felt around my abdomen, asking me questions regarding my pain.  He stopped, looked at the chart again, then poked me some more.  I could tell by the look on his face that something was going on.  When he finally spoke he said he didn't believe I had appendicitis (which is what we were thinking at first).  Great!  What was the pain from then? He explained to me that my uterus was expanded, telling him that I was 20-22 weeks along in pregnancy.  He asked if I knew that.  Heck no! Wouldn't I have said something?!  He went on to explain that my pain could be due to an ectopic pregnancy and he needed to get me into an ultrasound right away.

My head was reeling and I felt dazed and confused at what I was just told.  Not once did I get a positive HPT, and I was having periods-- and for the first time in my life they were regular!  How could I be carrying a child and not know it?  I certainly didn't show, with the weight loss I had experienced my stomach was almost concave.  I didn't feel movement, or did I and just not know what it was?  So many things were going through my mind.

As I was taken to radiology for the ultrasound I tried to forget about everything and focus on relieving the pain I was still feeling.  That lasted about 30 seconds.  The ultrasound technician wouldn't stop talking about what she was going to be looking for, how exciting it was, and so on.  Um, not really exciting lady-- I didn't plan on having a baby at 19!  Actually, I never planned on having any children.

I remained fairly quiet during the ultrasound.  I don't remember much of it other than the technician saying the baby was healthy, it was a boy, and that my due date was July 3rd, 1999.  I watched and listened, yet wasn't fully aware of what was going on or being said. I was trying to wrap my head around the idea of a human being growing inside of me-- and all from a one time sexual encounter!  I was blown away. 

After what seemed like hours, and lots of paper work and visitors (some wanted, some not-- but that's another story), they finally released me.  I went home (to the place I had been living since October of '98, with a wonderful older couple from my church).  I was stunned still, yet gaining some perspective and even some feelings of contentment.  I knew it was going to be long journey if I kept the baby, but there was no way I was giving him up!  I myself was adopted.  I know what foster care is like, and that not all adoptive parents are what they seem.  I felt I was the only one who could give my baby the life he deserved and I was bound and determined to do what I needed to in order to give him a great life, loving home, and all the things he could want. 

I'm going to leave it as this for now.  I will write the next part within the next week.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Where has the time gone?

Really-- where has the time gone?!  Today marks my youngest son's 1st year of life!  It seems like just yesterday I was pregnant with him, in labor with him, bringing him home from the hospital, and more.  Time truly flies, and without warning.  I know that there are so many minutes in an hour, so many in a day, so many days in  a week, month, and year.  But still, I never really think about how the days are passing by and all the life changes that happen, until "bigger" things come about, such as birthdays.

We had Ephraim's 1st birthday party yesterday.  As Eric's family is in Tennessee, and my so-called family is not a part of my life (long story, not worth telling), we invited all the people who have been a part of Ephraim's life so far.  Denise, Rosie, and Ronica (and her two young girls) came-- they are a part of the only true family I have.  We also had some old friends (ones that have been my friends forever), new friends (mostly from our centering pregnancy group), and co-workers who are always there for us arrive and share in our baby boy's 1st birthday.  I am so glad that we have such supportive and caring people in our lives!

As I reflect on the past year, I start reflecting on the past 12, or 13 really.  My oldest boy is 12.  Now that makes me feel old!  I'm thinking I am going to write up my birth experience with each boy soon.  What a trip down memory lane that will be!

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Symptoms and concerns

It is 6 am and I can't sleep.  For whatever reason I haven't been able to sleep past 5:30 or 6 most mornings.  It doesn't seem to matter how tired I am, I am up for the day by now.  It is getting quite frustrating.  I am beyond exhausted.  Ephraim is doing better sleeping in his crib but he still comes into bed with us more often than not by the middle of the night.  Once he is in bed with us, I have even more trouble sleeping, as we just don't have a lot of room.  He sleeps with his legs spread so far apart I usually find one of his legs hanging over Eric and the other over me.

I also would love to have a nap during the day, but that just doesn't happen.  Most of the time it is way too hot and sticky to even try to sleep. Props to women who have more little children running around while pregnant.  Or, have a newborn and are pregnant!  I certainly know I am lucky to have my husband home more often than not and to have a 12 year old son who adores his brother enough to watch him for me when I need 20 minutes to lay down.

As each day passes, I get a bit more concerned with the pregnancy.  I pray every day that this baby is healthy and growing well, but my lack of symptoms makes me wonder if there is something wrong.  I know some women have no symptoms and go on to have healthy babies, but I also know that many women who have no symptoms end up having a miscarriage.  I don't think any of us can emotionally handle another miscarriage.  Losing Arden one was of the hardest things I have ever gone through.

So, symptoms-- well, obviously I am exhausted.  That and my constant headache/migraine are my two main symptoms.  Once in a great while a small wave of nausea hits me if I haven't eaten for a few hours.  My breasts have been a bit sore off and on.   Otherwise, I don't feel pregnant.  Part of me feels like I am lucky!  I was beyond sick with Bretton, the first few weeks with Arden were tough, and Ephraim gave me plenty of physical pain to last a lifetime!  An easy going pregnancy is just what I hoped for!  But now that it is here all I can think about is how it doesn't seem right to not be sick.

I'm trying to enjoy each moment though.  Whether this baby ends up in our arms or in Jesus' arms, I want to enjoy as much of the pregnancy as I can.  I have my first appointment on Thursday and will bring my concerns up to the midwife then.  I'm not sure if she will do an ultrasound this time or next time, but I am hoping it will be Thursday.  Until then, I am going to do my best to not worry.

I've got to go get something to eat now.  A small wave of nausea has hit.  And I praise God for that!!

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Been awhile...

Wow, it has been a long time since I wrote.  I doubt I will be able to keep up this time either but I'm going to try.  Maybe I will try committing to once a week to start.

Last night was one of the hardest, longest, sleepless nights in months.  Ephraim was crying most of the night and I couldn't calm him down.  Now that it is almost time for me to go to work, he has finally settled down a bit.  I'm hoping he is able to manage through the morning while I am at work.  I know Eric didn't sleep well either, so it could be a super long day for us all.

In other news, my blog title has changed!  It was Mother of One and Expecting.  But, since I found out I am pregnant again, I thought I should change it.  I am pretty shocked still- not fully believing  the test results.   Especially because of my lack of symptoms.  With my others (including our miscarriage) I was pretty sick, in pain, and all the text book stuff.  But other than the occasional nausea, tiredness, and massive migraine (that has lasted for over a week now), I feel pretty good.  Oh, and smells-- yuck!  So, I guess I do have symptoms, just not nearly what I've had in the past.

As of now, my due date is March 7, 2012 but I haven't had an appointment yet, so it could change. A winter baby!!  I can't wait, despite being scared to death to have two under 2!   I love the 11 year difference with my boys.  Not sure how much "love" I will have for a less-than-2 year difference!

Either way, we will make it through-- we always do.  And I am already looking forward to bringing this little one home to join our family!