I have days of great motivation, and days of not so great motivation. I'm sure most people are like this. But for the past few days, I feel like it is completely gone. I have to actually force myself to do *anything*. I just need and want to sit and do nothing. I want to enjoy the peace and quiet of the mornings before the kids are up, the evenings when they have gone to bed, and maybe even a full day of no children at all. I love my children more than life, but I am really feeling like I need a 24 hour break. Actually, I need 2 of them.
The first 24 hours without children would be to clean, organize, sleep, and maybe even do some crafting or preparing for some crafts. The second 24 hours without children would be spent doing whatever I wanted in the moment. I'm guessing a lot of sleeping, movies, sitting outside, reading, etc.
I love being a mother, but there are times where I am so exhausted from all the mothering duties that I would give my left arm for a few hours alone. Even now, sitting here typing this, you would think that I am probably alone, able to get away for a few minutes to complete a blog entry. Oh, but you would be wrong. You see, most blog entries that I do are short because of what happens for me to write a longer one. I type a sentence or two, then run off to tell (sign to) Ephraim "no" and redirect him, or feed or change one of the little ones, or listen to Bretton tell me stories about his time away this summer or how to play an Xbox game that I really have no interest in, but make myself listen because he cares and I care about him and what he has to say, even if it doesn't appeal to me. Or clean. Or something. I usually take most of the day to type a blog, unless it is after the kids are in bed.
Today, was a different day. Usually I have Lorelai and Ephraim on a schedule of sorts. It isn't strict, but it is good enough to get naps, meals, snacks, playtime, etc in for both of them, and usually at least a sink of dishes done as well. But today, well, today, Ephraim needed extreme stimulation. I always allow him to stim as needed, though I try to also encourage him to find an activity to do after awhile. Today, he was having nothing to do with any activity set before him. All he wanted to do was eat, watch Veggies and Blue's Clues, and stimming. He stomped and ran back and forth as fast and hard as he could. He bounced himself on his bed for over an hour. Bouncing turned into body slamming. He ran in circles around the activity center in the living room, and he hand flapped and toe walked more than usual. He just now, at 7 pm, finally settled down. I just now, finished this blog (after starting it at around 1pm). Ha!
Off I go to eat some dinner and see if Lorelai is awake...